im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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