We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
