hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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