I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
worst night to have a conscience
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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