I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
