There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
