my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize