that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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