idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
