remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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