Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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