her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
