U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
