i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
