I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
