so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
