I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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