everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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