Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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