Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
