I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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