Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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