HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize