This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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