do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
