I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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