The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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