He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
