In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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