Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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