i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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