She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize