So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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