I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
