I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
