im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
