I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
