you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
