Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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