She is in my trunk
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
