yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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