Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Randomize
