gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
