Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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