I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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