We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
