all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
