You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
