dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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