I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
