just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
