the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
