why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
