On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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