My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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