apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
