it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
