Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
