I wish I could punch you in the face.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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