I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize