All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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