That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
