Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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