You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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