Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
